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The Pixel Project is pleased to present a guest “16 For 16” article from Emerge Lanka. Emerge was founded in 2005 with the belief that survivors of child sexual abuse in Sri Lanka who come forward deserve healing and support. The organisation works with girls who have survived abuse, exploitation and extreme childhood trauma and have had the courage to speak out, stand up for their beliefs and protect others. To learn more about their programmes and services or to get involved, please contact them here.

 

More than 370 million girls and women alive today — or 1 in 8 — have experienced rape or sexual assault before the age of 18. Most of this violence occurs during adolescence between the ages of 14 and 17. The harm is devastating, stripping away safety, trust and a sense of control at a crucial life stage.

Adolescence is a time of rapid brain and body development. Trauma during these years can disrupt brain development, relationships, memory and identity. Yet adolescence is also a time of great neuroplasticity, when the brain is especially adaptable. With the right support, young people can form new patterns of healing and resilience that last a lifetime.

We all have teenagers in our lives and, whether we know it or not, some of them have unfortunately likely endured sexual violence. Each of us has a role to play in ensuring that teen survivors are able to heal after abuse. Here are 16 ways you can support them. And remember, one size does not fit all.

Written by Alia Whitney-Johnson, Founder and CEO of Emerge Global, Harithra Chandrasehar, Clinical Supervisor of Emerge Lanka Foundation, and  Kaavya Pathirana, Communications Lead of Emerge Lanka Foundation.

 

Way to Support #1. Believe survivors

When a teen discloses abuse, take them seriously and affirm their courage to speak up. Too often, survivors are met with disbelief, minimisation or denial, which adds to their pain and creates confusion and self-doubt. Affirming their courage to speak is a powerful first step in preventing their isolation. Even if disclosure feels uncertain or tentative, respond with the understanding that it is real and important.

 

Way to Support #2. Educate yourself about trauma and how abuse might “show up”

Teens who’ve experienced sexual violence may not disclose it directly. Instead, trauma often shows up in their mood, behaviour and relationships — like sudden mood swings, falling grades, withdrawal, trouble concentrating, anxiety or irritability. Some may engage in risky sexual behavior as a way to cope or feel in control. These are trauma responses, not signs of weakness or defiance.

Understanding how trauma affects the adolescent brain helps us respond with compassion. Learn about trauma responses like fight, flight, freeze and fawn, and how trauma can impact sleep, memory, emotions and self-image. It can shape how teens see themselves, others, and the world, often resulting in choices adults may not understand.

 

Way to Support #3. Respond to disclosures with care

Your response to direct and indirect disclosures of abuse matters. Create a calm, safe space and let them lead the conversation. In emergencies, contact law enforcement. During disclosures:

  • Believe them and tell them you do.
  • Thank them for sharing and affirm their courage.
  • Ask open-ended questions like “What do you need right now?”
  • Avoid blame and focus on empathy, not judgment.
  • Be honest about mandatory reporting, but reassure that you will be there.
  • Document carefully after the disclosure without making them repeat.

Staying calm, present and supportive makes a lasting impact.

 

Way to Support #4. Use empowering language

How we talk to and about teens who’ve experienced abuse can shape how they see themselves. Avoid victim-blaming language like “Why didn’t you stop it?” Instead, use affirming phrases: “I believe you,” or “You did the right thing by telling me.” Language that highlights strength, courage and choice helps rebuild trust and self-worth.

When referring to them with others, use respectful, strength-based language. Focus on their resilience, not just their trauma. It is their story — remember to always get permission before sharing it.

 

Way to Support #5. Create safe spaces for healing

Trauma can make the world feel unpredictable and unsafe. A powerful way to support survivors is to create safe spaces. At home, this can mean calm tones, routines, space for emotions and gentle boundaries. In child-centric spaces, it often involves predictable schedules, consistent responses and protecting confidentiality. Emotional safety matters just as much as physical safety, and small acts of reliability help rebuild trust. Clear communication, even with upsetting news, helps survivors feel more secure.

 

Way to Support #6. Respect their autonomy

Experiencing abuse robs teens of their choice and control. To help restore it, offer survivors choices. Ask if they’d rather talk in the living room or on a walk, or if they want to journal or draw to process feelings. Always respect their “no,” even with small things like hugs. Honouring their choices shows that their voice matters and their body belongs to them.

 

Way to Support #7. Encourage healthy outlets

After trauma, teens often need ways to release emotions and reconnect with themselves. Encourage creative outlets like art, music, journaling or dance. Movement, such as yoga, sports or walking in nature can also be healing. Some teens may find comfort in mindfulness, faith, time with animals or calming activities like gardening. Rhythmic activities like drumming or jewelry making can help regulate the nervous system. Promote social connection and safe, new experiences. Isolation can deepen feelings of doubt and low self-esteem. Remember: every teen is different. What soothes one may overwhelm another.

 

Way to Support #8. Learn about and practise trauma-informed care

Trauma-informed care is a mindset anyone can adopt. It means approaching teens with empathy, recognising that behavior may be shaped by past trauma.

Key elements include:

  • Creating safe, supportive spaces
  • Building trust through consistency and honesty
  • Empowering teens with choice and control
  • Focusing on strengths and resilience

By responding with compassion and understanding, we help survivors feel seen, safe and supported in their healing.

 

Way to Support #9. Connect them with professional help

While love and support are vital, professional guidance can make a big difference for teens healing from trauma. Therapies like Trauma-Focused CBT and EMDR are proven to help young people process deeply challenging experiences and regain a sense of control. If therapy feels overwhelming at first, creative outlets like art, movement or music, and survivor support groups can also be powerful tools. Healing is a personal journey, so it is important for the survivor to recognise what works for them.

 

Way to Support #10. Be patient with the healing process

Healing is rarely a straight line. Survivors may appear to make progress and then suddenly seem withdrawn, angry or overwhelmed again. Be patient with triggers and/or setbacks. This doesn’t mean they are failing or regressing; it’s simply part of the journey. Remind them that healing takes time, that setbacks are normal, and that you will stay with them through the ups and downs. Patience communicates: you are worth the wait.

 

Way to Support #11. Support their education, including small wins

Pursuing education can feel impossible when a teen is coping with trauma — concentration, memory and motivation often suffer. Offer practical support: help them study, advocate for flexible deadlines or ask about tutoring options. Encourage them to keep pursuing their goals, while also reminding them that their worth is not tied to grades. Even small educational victories, like finishing an assignment or returning to class after a tough day, deserve recognition.

 

Way to Support #12. Advocate for their rights

Teens shouldn’t have to navigate systems alone. Advocacy may mean standing with them at school meetings, supporting them in accessing healthcare or pushing back against policies that fail to protect survivors. If a teen chooses to report, offer to accompany them to the police station or courtroom. Even when systems feel intimidating, knowing someone is in their corner makes a huge difference.

 

Way to Support #13. Respect privacy and boundaries

Survivors have the right to decide who hears their story and when. Avoid pushing them to share before they are ready or speaking about their experience without consent. Likewise, always ask permission before physical contact, even something as simple as rubbing their back or giving them a hug in an attempt to offer comfort. Respecting privacy and bodily autonomy allows them to set the pace and helps rebuild dignity, safety and a sense of control.

 

Way to Support #14. Celebrate their strengths

Trauma may be part of their story, but it doesn’t define them. Notice the qualities that make them who they are, whether it’s creativity, humour, intelligence or kindness. Celebrate their achievements, even small ones, like showing up to school after a hard week. Affirmations like “I’m proud of how strong you are” or “I admire your creativity” remind them they are more than survivors; they are complete people with abilities and aspirations.

 

Way to Support #15. Stay educated and engaged

Supporting survivors means committing to ongoing learning. Read about trauma and resilience, attend community workshops or listen to survivor-led talks. Engage in conversations about consent and gender equality. Share what you learn with others to help shift harmful cultural norms. Staying educated ensures your support doesn’t end with one conversation but grows over time.

 

Way to Support #16. Be consistent and reliable

Above all, show up — again and again. Sexual violence can shatter a teen’s ability to trust, leaving them unsure if anyone is truly safe. By staying present even when their emotions are messy or overwhelming, you send a powerful message: not everyone leaves, not everyone hurts you, and I am here to walk with you even when things don’t feel okay. Keeping your promises, arriving when you say you will and showing up even in hard moments helps rebuild trust. Your steady presence can become one of the most healing gifts of all.

All pictures used are Creative Commons images: